Episode 66: Being YOU is Your Niche with Kacia Fitzgerald
Transcript Episode 66
Stephanie Skryzowski
Welcome to the 100 Degrees of Entrepreneurship podcast the show for purpose driven entrepreneurs who want to get inspired to step outside of your comfort zone. Expand it to your purpose and grow your business in a big way. I’m your host, Stephanie Skryzowski, a globe trotting CFO whose mission is to empower leaders to better understand their numbers to grow their impact and their income. Let’s dive in!
Hey, everybody, welcome back to 100 degrees of entrepreneurship. I am very excited for our guest today, Kacia Fitzgerald.
You may have heard her name before because she has a wildly popular podcast called, Empower Her. She is a multi-passionate entrepreneur, speaker, and podcaster. Who’s on a mission to help women unapologetically share the voice and message with the world.
She’s the host of the top rated powercast, Empower Her, with over 4 million downloads – the first three years. She has a global community of over 2,600 personal growth obsessed women.
She’s a founder of two podcasts courses that help women launch or grow their own podcasts. And she is the host of in-person women’s empowerment events.
She’s found that what’s often holding women back is the thoughts they think about who they are and what they’re capable of. So she takes her knowledge from working with hundreds of entrepreneurs over the years, paired with her high energy, bubbly personality, and “a come with me let’s figure this out together” approach to light a fire under their booty to get up out of their own way and go.
I am an avid listener of Kacia’s podcast, Empower Her and I knew that I wanted to invite her onto the show, because not only does she bring it with her energy and her excitement about podcasting, about entrepreneurship, but really most importantly, about personal growth. And we have such a great conversation in store for you today, where she talks about how she just goes for it. She makes the asks that she wants. Despite being scared, despite not feeling like she has enough confidence, and it has led her to where she is today. And she’s built just this wildly successful community and podcast.
I think you’re going to love her energy. You’re going to love all of the knowledge bombs that she drops on us. And I know, I felt like I was like taking notes the entire time because she just gave me so much inspiration and confidence to just like, do what works for me and serve my community and do it all really well. And she’s just awesome!
I could have talked to her forever and that’s exactly how she’s built her community by feeling like you could just talk to her forever. Like she is one of your girlfriends. So I think you’re going to love this interview with Keisha. So let’s dive right in!
Hey, everybody. Welcome back to 100 degrees of entrepreneurship and I could not be more excited to have Kacia Fitzgerald on the podcast today. Welcome Kacia!
Stephanie, I am so pumped to be here. Thank you so much for having me, girl!
Okay. I feel like I needed like a couple shots of something with caffeine before our interview, because you bring so much energy. I love it so much! So I need to like, match that.
Thank you for anyone that’s like listening on their commute into work or, and they’re ready to be like get pumped up. We’re going to leave you with some fire under your booty today because I am so pumped to be here. I love talking to entrepreneurs and I love that we got to connect, so I’m excited.
Yay, yay! Thank you! Okay. So I always like to start with talking about your business journey. So you have like a wildly successful podcast, which we will definitely talk about, but how did you get from wherever you started to having a podcast with millions upon millions of downloads and all the things that you do?
I think a lot of women, you know, listening and might connect with that feeling that’s visceral in your body where, you know you want something more, but you don’t know what that ‘more’ thing is. And then you feel kind of crazy because you’re just, it’s always in your body. Like, “ARGH!,” like you feel just like scattered. That’s really how I started.
I worked in the corporate world. I did, you know, what I thought that I was supposed to do. So I went to college, and then I got the degree, and then I started working my way up the corporate ladder.
My first job was in it recruiting and then in project management. And because we become a by-product of the expectations of our peer group, I had a, you know, all my girlfriends, my now husband, they had very linear paths. They’re like, this is just what we do.
But this really, in my body, I felt like I was in the wrong path, but on paper it made sense. Because I actually had really great managers and I made great income and I had great career trajectory. So that actually made it more confusing because it wasn’t like my back was against the wall and I needed to jump into the entrepreneurial space.
It was like, everything was really good, but I felt uncomfortable because I wanted more. And I tried to shove down that feeling. Which so often we do, right? Of like, ‘Ugh! Like, I don’t want to feel this way. So I’m just going to shove it down,” until I started to just say like “Maybe I should get curious about why I feel so uncomfortable in this lane and maybe it is because I’m supposed to do something else.” and I think intuitively I always knew I was supposed to be an entrepreneur.
My husband and I now joke that like I’m unemployable at this point because I’m all over the place! So, that was how I started. My first business was in network marketing, which I started in January of 2014. And I used to work that business before and after work.
We were living in Seattle at the time, and then my husband got into NYU dental school. So we moved to New York city for him to go to school. And I was working at Google. Building that business before and after. Built it up to be a really successful business.
I had a lot of opportunities with that company to get to speak to large audiences and really developed a lot of skills and confidence in myself and my belief in my ability to figure things out, which is really the root of everything with entrepreneurship is confidence.
Right? Because life is going to throw curve balls. And you’re going to change your mind, especially as a multi-passionate person, like I’m changing my mind 800 million years. When people ask me, where would I want to be in five years? I’m like, I have no idea, but I’m just going to keep following my own intuition, you know?
And after he graduated from dental school, we moved to San Diego. Feeling that I no longer wanted to be building that network marketing business, but I wanted to build something of my own.
But again, I didn’t know what that thing was. So I started my podcast, Empower Her, with the intention of bringing people along on the ride, because I didn’t feel like there was enough women in the podcast space that had, ‘Come with me, let’s figure this out together’ types of podcasts that were really transparent about what they were navigating in real time.
It was a lot of women that felt like they were five steps ahead of me in the. Alright, Kacia! Like this is, you know, this is what I did a couple of years ago. Let me show you how I did it, even though I’m out of it now.
And I have a belief that if it’s not being represented the way that you think it should, it’s because you’re supposed to be the representation. So that was my real honest journey getting into podcasts, was like I’m going to be so transparent.
I felt really lost. So I would Google who wrote a book about feeling lost, and then I would bring them on my podcast. And then, I would ask them everything I wanted to know. But also everything that my target demographic that listened into my show wanted to know. And really engaged community built around, Empower Her.
I did what I think is the simplest and most powerful ways to be in the entrepreneurial space is I asked my community what problems that they had. And then I just created something to solve those problems. I co-created and was really transparent as I was creating those things.
I started a membership community and then when the pandemic hit in March of 2020, I was supposed to be doing my first live event because I really wanted to do live events for women. Obviously the world had a different agenda than I did.
And because so many women were wanting to get into the podcasting space. They’re like, Kacia, you know, I want to start a podcast. Like you started this podcast and you’ve grown this. And they started asking me like, tons of women were asking me how to start a podcast.
And I recognized there was a lot of power and if I were to build out a course doing that, so I brought in my husband to do the tech stuff. He was a dentist and California regulations change all the dentists, like, you know, when they were allowed to show up and they can only do emergency procedures so he had more time.
Come in, help me with this, that turned into just everything else that we’ve done. And now we’re doing podcasts courses to help women launch we’re scaling. Like I have a program for podcasters that want to scale and monetize. Now we’re doing live events. I get to speak and do all sorts of cool things.
And that’s a roundabout way of how I got here.
I love it. I feel like that’s how so many of our journeys are, right? Like you said, it’s like, we’re on this path and we feel like it’s not quite right, but we don’t know what the right thing is. And so it just, it has to be exploration. So what year did you start your podcast?
The end of 2018. So November 27th, 2018. So it’s been three and a half years now and I’m obsessed with it.
I feel like I’m fairly certain, I was not listening to podcasts in 2018. That feels like kind of early where you, like, I mean, podcasts have been around for a while, but did you feel like you were one of the only ones that had a podcast?
No, there was always… just cause I’d been listening to podcasts since like 2014. So I definitely didn’t feel like I was early. I always kind of feel with everything that I’ve just like right on time for whatever the time is that I decided to do something. I just feel that way intuitively.
But, now there are so many women that have podcasts. But it’s not saturated because there are very few that stay consistent with it because like anything that has a low barrier of entry, like obviously have a backward network marketing. Like anyone can do that. Anyone can be a podcast or anyone can start a business.
But are you going to stay consistent? And are you going to keep showing up because of the 1.7 million podcasters that there are right now, less than half of them have released more than 10 episodes and of the people that have released more than 10 episodes, less than half of those have released an episode in the last 90 days.
So we’re talking 25% of the total amount of podcasts are actually what’s considered quote unquote active podcasts. So again, it seems like everybody has a show, but. Who has a show. That’s still staying after it. That’s the secret sauce of anything, right. Is the consistency piece because that’s a differentiator in business and podcasting, what ever it may be.
Yeah. Yeah, you’re so right. I got to say. Um, and so my podcast has been around for like 14 months or so, and like without fail, I’ve released an episode every single week, and I’m pretty sure that that is the most consistent I have been in any content generation over any platform over the duration of my entire business.
So, um, so that’s amazing though, that those stats are so. So low, like what have you done to maintain that consistency over time? Has that consistency always been in your mind? Like I have to stay consistent or do you just love it so much that it’s all you want to do or both?
I guess it’s kind of both. I knew for sure. So I get a lot of people that ask me, like Kacia, when do I know if it’s the right time to pivot of the existing business that I’m doing, the products, the programs or whatever it is that I’m selling? When do I know if like podcasting is my thing,”
I think we do actually know the answer, but for me it’s always been, have I done something long enough that I’ve gotten through that beginning stage where I suck, because like, you just are not very good at the beginning.
You’re so awkward. You’re so uncomfortable for anything. It doesn’t matter what it is. And I have to get through that beginning stage where I don’t feel like I’m very good. So I can get to the point where I feel like I’m getting my footing because you just don’t like it as much when you’re not that good.
But what happened was with podcasting straight out the gates, I loved it, even though I felt super uncomfortable and sweaty and like all the weird places, I still really loved it. So I was like, this is just my medium, like, it feels like it’s very aligned for me.
And I think it’s a good question for every single entrepreneur to ask themselves is like, what’s the right platform for your audience, for your message, but also that you actually enjoy enough. Cause like you’d been what you just said, Stephanie.
It’s like, you know, maybe other platforms you think you quote unquote should be there, but if you don’t love doing it, you’re not going to stay consistent at it because life, it’s crazy busy. Right? And this might be, you know, adding on social media content or podcasting might be the last thing that you added to your already full plate.
So if your kids are sick or your in-laws are in town or like, life is crazy, it’s the first thing that goes. Cause it was the last thing that was added. And a lot of times we don’t see that or we don’t connect the dots to the ROI of it. So it’s like, well, it’s okay. I’ll just, I’ll just worry about this later. It’s kind of a quote unquote extra.
But for me, I just raised the necessity straight off the gates that I was like, I’m going to give this enough effort going into it, that I’m going to stay consistent. So I can cultivate community around this show because selfishly I was in a place where I didn’t know what I wanted to do next as an entrepreneur.
I knew I didn’t want to do this business, but although it was very successful in terms of impact and an income. It started to feel like it wasn’t fulfilling anymore. And I was no longer wanting to stay in that, but I didn’t know what was next.
And I think in a lot of times, when we are in those doubts seasons of like, should I jump to that next thing? It’s really powerful to try something on the side, and detach from the outcome of it being a forever thing, but then have that sweet spot where you’re giving it enough time to actually start to see some of the results and build up your skillset in it. And that was my mentality going into it.
But I mean, honestly I knew episode number one when I was so freaking nervous and wanted to like die because I was so scared of people listening into it. And that I did it and I loved it. I was like, oh, I’m probably going to do this. So I’m like a hundred now. I’ve showed up twice a week for three and a half years. So yeah!
That’s amazing. I was going to ask that. So like, what was it like? You started this podcast because you’re like, “okay. I want to like, hold hands with other women who are feeling the same way I’m feeling and take them along for the journey.” But you didn’t really know like where, what that journey was going to be.
You didn’t know that. I’m assuming you didn’t know that podcasting, like was going to be the thing. Were there other things that you experimented with or were you just like episode one? Okay. I’m all in on podcasting. Done!
So I was curious about it and you know, sometimes when we’re like, “oh, I don’t know what I want to do next.” I knew that I wanted to do podcasting next because I was curious enough about the platform. And I had seen other women that were in this space and I’m like, “I feel like I could do that. And it’s just talking and I love talking.”
It’s interesting cause sometimes I think it can be powerful to ask yourself what you did as a little girl that was really fun for you. And then ask yourself if you’re doing any of that right now, especially as an entrepreneur. And I used to have. Koala bear talk show. Cause you know, like Kacia Koala bear, obviously.
So I would always interview people and I would always make, you know, family members sit down. Listen to me like do my little talk show and I wanted to be Oprah.
So I’m like, I’ve always kind of had this in me. What if I just tried this out? And it felt like it was a very aligned match and one thing that has bugged me. I think this has actually been a really valuable tool, is paying attention to the things that kind of irritate me.
And in a really constructive way where I always felt really like frustrated by, by the carefully curated perfection content on social media. I never felt like that was aligned for my personality. And I didn’t want to play that game. So, you know, a couple of years ago it was so much more like, you know, less transparency and more like, “look at me and my perfect marriage and my perfect bud and my bank account. And like, life is bright. Look at my business. I’m just raking in all the money.”
I just didn’t like that. Cause it didn’t feel real. And I didn’t feel like I could be myself on Instagram through little squares that had to be really well-designed. I’ve just kind of a messy person too.
So podcasting felt like it was more transparent and I felt like I could be more myself. And I knew if I felt like I could be more myself, it would also require less energy. Because that imposter syndrome feeling of trying to act or trying to fake it or trying to fit into what you think you should be doing it it’s so draining.
And especially, I mean, Stephanie, obviously, you know this, but like in women listening into this as entrepreneurs, you’re juggling so many things, you’re wearing so many hats. So I also am constantly asking myself what’s most aligned for my energy.
And I just knew like, as soon as I started doing it, I’m like, this just doesn’t require as much energy as it does for me to sit down and try and take all of my content and change my ANZ into an science because the character lived on Instagram. Like it just was the right platform. So, yeah, I seen the evolution of it and I’m like, it’s been beautiful for that.
And I also really even like the evolution of people on social media, because I think so often. We tell ourselves the story of like, if it’s perfect, then I’m not going to be subjected to other people’s judgment, but perfect is completely up to interpretation.
And what I’ve found is when I’m willing to pull back the curtain and say, I don’t have it all figured out and I’m not going to pretend like I do. That’s created more connective tissue with my community. It’s made it more fun for me, which makes me want to show up. And it’s easier because I don’t have to feel like I’m pretending, right?
Mm-hmm. You’re right. It does, sometimes it really can feel so hard to like pick out the perfect photo and then write the perfect most like insightful caption on Instagram and posted it just the right time. Like that’s a lot. And for some people, maybe it’s not. And you know, if, if you’re listening and you’re like, oh my gosh, it’s like my favorite thing. Great. You do that.
But if you’re podcasting. It’s just, it feels like a little bit more freedom. So yeah. I’d love that. Yeah. Amazing that it just felt so natural. And I love how you connected that to what you did as a little girl, because I think that that, like, that’s pretty powerful. Like that just means there’s something inside of you as a person that like, this is what you’re meant to do. I love it.
Well, and I think we often like trivialize the question of like, what would make this more fun, but for me, If I want to stay consistent. And I know that consistency is the secret sauce to build credibility externally with the person that I’m most excited to serve. Whether that’s in podcasting or any type of business, putting out any type of content into the world that does matter to get credibility, but it also matters to build up your own confidence because.
I kind of alluded to this at the beginning, but I think entrepreneurship is the most amazing opportunity to build confidence of anything that you could do in your life. And it transfers into every single aspect of your life, because I think of confidence, like it’s a bucket and every single day that you show up and you keep a promise to yourself, it’s like, you’re putting a deposit into your bucket, right?
Like pop, pop, pop, pop, pop. And because you’re juggling so much as an entrepreneur, you’re constantly getting opportunities to keep these tiny little promises to yourself and build up your confidence.
So that when you know, Sally’s 2, 2, 9, 3, or your aunt or your sister-in-law doesn’t understand your business and thinks that it’s like you should be realistic and got a real job or whatever they say, right.
It feels like someone like smacked the side of your confidence bucket because you’re a human. We’re primarily like wired to want to belong. And we do care what people think about us, even if we like to pretend that we don’t, we do. And I don’t think that that’s a bad thing.
The only people that don’t care, what people think are like sociopaths or people that are acting like they don’t care. But like, you know, it’s like, it helps you really build up that confidence that even if you get that smack on the side of your bucket, because somebody doesn’t understand what you’re doing or doesn’t believe in your vision, you still have all these micro deposits that you kept by just pop pop, pop these little goals and deposits that some sloshes out of your confidence bucket for sake of this analogy, but you still feel like you’re not totally depleted.
And I’ve always built my business that way, where I’m like, I need to find like, what are the micro wins? Because the big vision, and I’m sure there are so many women listening into this right now that can feel this.
I am so far away from where I want to be in my career and my life and all of my goals, because I’m such a big dreamer and I’m a visionary. So I am, I’m not even close to where I want to be. But I have to be so cautious because the space between where I am now and where I want to go, because it’s so massive.
If I choose a label like it’s overwhelming, or I’m never going to get there or like, oh, I’m not qualified. No crap, like, of course I’m not qualified. I’ve never done that thing yet. I’m qualifying myself in the process.
That’s always been on my heart is like understanding the magnitude of the opportunity in pursuit of those goals, to build confidence as a human being and then being very cautious of the label that we give that space between where we want to go. You know?
That’s so powerful. And I feel like you’re such a testament to that journey because you talk about it all the time on your show, really bringing women along with you. And I love how you just said, like, let’s not talk about this journey to our biggest, most massive dreamiest goals as overwhelming.
Like it’s just, it’s part of the process. You learn as you go. And I feel like, a lot of people feel like. That’s too scary, like this too far outside of our comfort zone, we don’t want to go there. And I, I just, I love that you go there and you’re an example of that. That’s super, that’s very inspiring!
Have you ever had a moment in your podcast journey where you had to like really draw on that reserve from the confidence bucket? Like at inviting like some big guests onto your show or anything like that, or you had to make a major withdrawal from the confidence bucket? Yeah. I’m big on co-creating with my community and like really taking people along for the ride.
So even early on, before I had a name for my podcast, I started asking my dream guests to be on my show. And I asked them through Instagram video messages. I didn’t do emails cause I don’t really read my emails. And I just, I thought that this would like differentiate me right where I’m like, I’m just going to do this. I’m going to be myself. They’re either going to vibe with it or they’re not.
And one of the guests that I asked that I definitely didn’t think that was going to say yes. I asked before I actually had a name of my show and he said, yes. And I freaked out! Because I was like, “WHAT?!” He said yes to me and he didn’t ask about downloads. He didn’t ask about how long my show.
I told him he was going to be the first guy on my podcast, which was true, but he was episode #2. It was the Dave Hollis. And I, so he said, yes, he was like, I love your energy. I love whatever. I can’t remember what he said, but I was so excited.
And then when I actually did the interview with him, it was my second interview that I’d ever done. Again. My first guy, technically as I’d only ever done one other interview. And when I got on, he had a whole like production thing. Like he had a green screen behind him. He had like, the first person that I saw on his team was like someone on the team that was an audio person.
I had like a side pony with like a scrunchie in my hair. I was myself, I had never really interviewed people. And I had to right there in that exact moment when the tech guy caught on, I was like, “Oh, my gosh, like you’re about to interview someone who’s done this, like hundreds of times.” And then I said, “it’s not even about you. I was like, why are you making this about you? It’s about your audience. It’s about your being a vessel to get information out of this person to give to your audience. If you make it about you, it’s easy to get caught up in all the fields.”
And I was like, okay, I remember exactly. I go right now, the physical reaction that your body’s having right now, you get to choose the label of this, and you have about five seconds to choose a label that serves you because you’re picking that you’re freaking out and you’re getting really anxious. You need to choose excitement because it’s the same physiological reaction. You need to choose a better label.
So. I am so excited. In my head, I was like, I probably looked… I have like one of those bubbles above my head. I’d probably look like a crazy person. So like, “I’m so excited. This is the label that serves me. Go, Kacia! You can do this. Like you can do anything. It’s not about you,” like this internal pep talk.
And then he got on and he was, I mean, he was so chill and he was so great and yeah. You know, I mean, people are people like, some people just have seen more success because they’ve been in it longer. Like he’s just been on the world. Like he’s been a human longer than I’ve been a human and an entreprenuer longer than I had.
And so, like, it wasn’t like he was cooler than me or better than me or anything like that, that quickly went away right away. But it was really the recognizing the magnitude of seeing someone that had a legit set up when I was feeling like I was just starting. I had to be very careful not to make that mean something.
And I think that’s an important lesson that we all have to remember as humans we’re meaning creating machines. So when we experience anxiety or we’re experiencing, you know, fear of the unknown or we’re experiencing resistance or a launch that we do in our business doesn’t go, well, we don’t have to make that mean that we suck or that we’re not qualified.
We have to make it mean, “Okay, this is just part of the journey,” because you don’t build grit and character and resilience and understand your own work ethic. If everything is rainbows, butterflies, and happy little unicorns, and you’re crushing all of your goals and you’re never getting nervous.
Like I’m so grateful that I was so uncomfortable because once I learned how to, in real-time, label that emotion, now I can do that. Always like I could interview Oprah and I’d probably be scared at first, but then, I would be like, “It’s just Oprah!”
We’re besties now, yeah!
Stephanie, I have DM’ed her several times. She’s not gotten back to me yet, but when she does, I’ve been able to take screenshots from the last three years and it’s going to be great.
You’re like, we’ve been friends this whole time, oprah. You do not remember.
You didn’t know yet, but keyword yet.
Exactly. I love that because you know what, if you’re never scared, like, clearly you’re not pushing hard enough. Like you’re not going for, for something big enough if you’re never at least a little bit scared.
And I love that. You’re like, okay, I’m going to ask this guy. Who’s like famous ish, right? In like certain circles. He’s kind of famous. And I’m just going to ask him, and I love that you didn’t have a name for your podcast yet. Would you like to be a guest on my random unnamed podcasts?
And he says, “Yes!”
I have this epic, personal development show for women. I know you’re not the target demographic, but I’d love for you to be the first guy. And then he was like, “I’m in, it was just email my assistant.” I’m like, “Okay!”
I love it. And honestly, the fact that you’re a DM-ing, Oprah is like my favorite thing.
Cause I think that’s just a testament to like, “Hey, put it out there, put it. If you don’t put it out there, it’s never going to happen.”
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If you don’t ever like DM Oprah on Instagram, she’s never going to write back to you.
True! I’m not embarrassed by it because I also think it’s like, It creates this… A lot of entrepreneurs struggle with this that we want to present. Like we have it together because we think that that’s going to make people trust us to want to work with us more.
I’ve actually found the opposite where like, I mean, I definitely know how to help women in the podcasting space and I know how to do that, but. There’s this beautiful, like routability, that’s almost created when you recognize that, like you’re human.
And so as someone else and humans want to work with humans that they can connect with. And when we try and pretend like we’re so polished, it almost feels. You’re trying so hard that you’re like repelling the person that you’re most excited to serve because they feel like you wouldn’t understand them.
And so the fact that I’m nervous about even like right now, as we’re planning this big women’s event that we’re doing, I I’ve never done this before. I’m openly talking about the. “Oh, my god! Wow!”, you know how I’m feeling about it because I don’t think that’s going to hurt my ticket sales or a sponsors wanting to work with me.
It’s I think actually going to make it more relatable that women are going to be like, she gets it. I listened to her podcast. I want to come to this event. So for any woman listening to this, that’s building a business. I would ask yourself, the person that you’re most excited to serve. Do you actually feel like they know that you get them? Not just your eight steps ahead of them, but like that you can understand the feelings that they’re navigating and that’s worked really well for me in this space and in podcasting as well.
Yeah, it’s so true because it’s those people with like, speaking about podcasts in particular. It’s the podcasts that are like real, that don’t edit out every little. Um, and ah, and like, oh, geez, I didn’t need to say that. Like the, those podcasts that leave all that in, it’s like, oh, I feel like I’m talking with my friend.
Whereas there are other podcasts that are very clear. They are reading from a pre-written script. They’ve written out the entire episode and that’s just not like. That’s like a blog post that I’m like listening to the audio version. You know, I like those ones that are so much more conversational and you’re right.
And I. It’s interesting because I see that and I feel that myself, I like relatable things and people, but I feel like I’m such a perfectionist that I want my image to be like, this person that’s like, has her stuff like perfectly all together. Like I definitely feel that for myself, but I like the people that are more real.
So do you have any perfectionist tendencies as well? Or that’s just like, that’s just not you. Uh, I actually, I do not have perfectionist tendencies. At all, because I think I’m so scrappy and it’s worked for me to this point, but the helpful thing is I surround myself with people that have the skills that I don’t like.
I I’m married someone that literally has all of my weaknesses as strings. That was like a slam dunk boom for my life. And for my business was like he is structured and organized and very task. He’s a, if you don’t Enneagram, he’s an Enneagram three. So he’s an achiever and he’s focused. I’m a seven, I’m an enthusiastic person who’s all fricking over the place. It’s like squirrels are raving in my brain all day.
So I have a lot of energy, but I have to really be conscious about the environment that I’m creating around me and then how I’m supporting myself and making sure that I’m not building a schedule that. Would work for someone else that’s built differently.
That just has a different brain than me. Like I have to be very conscious about like how I even map out things and pay very much attention to how I feel when I leave people. And what I say, guests too. If I feel like it’s going to be aligned, like I’m very intentional about all of that. So it keeps me moving forward and I don’t really allow myself time to worry too much about what other people are going to think about what I’m doing, because I’m so worried about.
Making sure that it feels aligned for me and that I’m not, not showing up because I fear so much regret of not doing the things that I want to do more than I do of failure or even other people watching me fail. So it’s like setting myself up energetically, putting the right people around me, building a schedule that feels aligned for my own personality, rather than looking at what other people think that I should be doing or how other people think I should be showing up.
And I think it’s just because. I’m not attracted personally to perfectionist, like type content, because I know that there’s more going on. And I just really, like, when I feel like I can be myself. And when I feel as if someone else is trying to be too polished, then I want to just say, like, I don’t feel like you’re going to get me.
Cause you’re not going to like me. And naturally we want to be around people that we feel like are going to like us. Right. Um, but. Truthfully, there’s so many women that listen into empower her that are like Kesha. I struggle with people pleasing tendencies or perfectionist tendencies. And I always like to get to the root of.
Who are you doing this for? Like, who are you trying to impress? And so often we get caught up in like, what are quote unquote. They gonna think about me, but when I ever, I asked them on who is they? Like you can’t actually really name day. And if you can, it’s someone who’s not even in this game. Right.
You’re worried about what your mom thinks about you, but your mom has never been an entrepreneur or your sister’s giving you crap about like, oh, a business. Like that’s never going to work, but it’s like your sister’s not even doing that business. And they don’t, I don’t think that people have malicious intent.
But I do think we can only give advice really from our own experience. So if you’ve never been in this game, then you don’t understand how much risk tolerance you have to have, and you don’t understand how uncomfortable you have to get, but you also don’t get to see helper failing. It is. So of course other people are going to give you feedback.
And I think what helps a lot with perfectionist tendencies is reminding your. Number one, like who is it that you’re trying to please? And are they even in this game because you can be curious about other people’s opinions, but they can’t have so much weight when they just aren’t qualified to give you advice on something they’ve never done.
And then on top of the. Like, what’s also been really helpful is for women that I’ve worked with struggle a lot with that is, you know, what are you missing out on? If you don’t do this faster, if you don’t get out a less polished version, like who are you not reaching? What goals do you not have time for?
How much time is it taking for you to make it quote unquote. Perfect. And then reminding yourself that all this time you spend making it perfect. It doesn’t make you not subject to other people’s judgment because some people, your perfect is not good for them. It’s tough. That’s so true. Yeah. That’s so true.
That’s so true. And I just love the way that you explained sort of just being more aligned with yourself versus aligned with what all the other people they are, are thinking of you, because clearly that served you. Well, how have you, you seem to really know your audience, your podcast audience. And I feel like.
You don’t know, like the actual millions of people or hundreds of thousands of people that are listening. Um, but how have you use your podcasts to really cultivate a community like tactically? What have you done to really make this a community? Because in listening to your show, like it is clear, it feels like you are talking to me, I’m part of your community and you’ve done something to like to make it that way.
So what have you done to do. Oh, I love this question. So I really figured out straight out the gates, like who it was that I was here for, and also who I wasn’t here for, because I don’t at this stage of my life. I’m not going to water myself down at all. So I knew there was going to be people that just did not like my energy, but I also asked myself, like, if somebody slid into my DMS on Instagram, Who would I be most excited to serve?
What problem would they have that I can help them solve? And what stage of life would they be in? And those are really the three components where like I was like, okay, I know that they’re going to energetically feel like we would actually be friends. I asked myself a lot about the positioning that I wanted with the show where I intentionally am.
Like, I want to be like, we’re girlfriends chatting over spicy. Margheritas I want it to feel like that. So every time before I’m sitting down to record an episode, I’m thinking I’m just talking to a girl. That I’m having a spicy margaritas with she’s in three different particular stages of her life. And those are the demographics that I know.
And I’m going to make sure that she gets that I’m thinking about her and that it’s really not actually even about me in the episode. So what happens really was. Narrowed down who it was that I was most excited to serve. And what problem it was, the problem was she has all the things on paper that makes sense, but she still has a visceral gut feeling that she wants more in her life, her career, her relationships, or her business.
So I know the feelings that are associated with that. So when you’re thinking about your niche for your podcast or for your business, it’s not just asking yourself what is my avatar, let me spell this person out. Feelings that my avatar’s feeling, what are the questions that my avatar’s asking herself?
And then how can I come up with solutions to those problems with the positioning that I’ve picked, which for me is side-by-side. Or like, sometimes I feel like maybe I’m two steps ahead and I’m like, extending my arm. Like I picture this imagery, I’m extending my arm back just a little bit and be like, come on, like, we got this, we’re going to walk together, but I’m not trying to position like I’m over here.
Hey, how are you doing way, way, way back there. Like that’s not the positioning. And sometimes I think it’s just important to understand what is the positioning into that community can be built around it. And it doesn’t have to be that your peers, there are many amazing podcasts and businesses where they position themselves as the.
But I don’t want to be an expert in anything. I want to be a lifelong learner. Who’s just very transparent. So I think I knew that straight out the gates, I knew I would be open to criticism because I’m not credentialed in anything. I knew that there was going to be some people that are like, who is this girl?
But I didn’t care because. I just wanted to focus on who I was actually for and then how I cultivated the community from it is I spent a lot of time thinking about the positioning and the stage of life that they were in. And then I’m very open about making sure that I’m actually asking for feedback and explaining why, because so often we have a call to action.
Like if you liked this episode, share it on social media and take me, but why, why do I need to do that? How can I raise the necessity for my audience to grassroots? Want to share it with their friends? I would always say that. I’m by myself, recording this podcast where, you know, like, I want to make sure I’m putting out good content for you.
And I really don’t know unless you tell me. So I was so open about that, that people organically started to share it. And I’ve never spent a dollar on advertising. It’s all been grassroots. A friend told a friend, told a friend, and then every single day, the first time that someone tags the podcast, I send them a personal voice note, thanking them for sharing the episode.
And then I get to at least 90% of my DMS every single day. It’s like one of the top priorities. A lot of people don’t. I think that there’s ROI there and I, my entire business just. There’s so much RI cause it keeps you, it keeps you engaged and I’m constantly taking like polls and asking people, not just like, what do you want to hear on the show?
But like, what are you navigating through in your life? So I can look at the parallels and then I can create content for those. And then I can use those specific examples in my podcast. So someone’s like, holy crap. Does she have cameras in my house? That’s the feeling that I want them to have where they’re like, she’s creeping on me.
How does she know what’s going on with. Well, a lot of you told me on Instagram and then I just jotted down the problems that you’re navigating. Cause sometimes we ask these questions, like, tell me what you love to hear from me, or why do you follow me on Instagram? And it’s like, that requires that person to do a lot of work in their own head.
I want to keep it as simple as freaking possible and that’s really helped. And then also just one of the things that’s on my mind too, for any entrepreneurs listening. It’s asking yourself, how can you skill intimacy? And for me having a Textless, so I created a Textless where I sent out little inspiring texts every Sunday evening, and then like randomly throughout the week.
Because again, that’s that structured spontaneity that works for me, where like, I want to show up and be consistent with Sunday evenings, but I’m also very sporadic all over the place kind of girl. So I want the freedom of that, right. Setting levels, setting those expectations. Texting. If your positioning with your audience is a friend, you text with your friends, you businesses, email you, right?
So like I’ve always incentivized people to then go from the podcast to the text list, to get these free text messages and to interact with me there or in DMS, because of the fact of how you treat people on text messages, just very different than how you interact on an email naturally. Cause we’re just designed that way.
So I’m always thinking. Like, how can I scale intimacy? How can I keep that positioning? And it’s on the forefront of my brain all the time. And it’s really developed into this beautiful community. I mean, I like, I’m obsessed with, I’m obsessed with the listeners of empower herself. I’m grateful for sure.
Yeah. That’s so true. I mean, I love how you have. You’ve done what feels natural and what feels aligned to you. And I feel like there are so many, you know, gurus and the big entrepreneurs that like position yourself as an expert. And you’re like, no, I don’t want to position myself as an expert. I want to position myself as your friend.
They can like do this with you together. I think that has totally set you apart. And I feel like the lesson that I’m seeing here is just like, Understand yourself and what works for you. And just because like, so, and so has said, this is the way to do entrepreneurship. Doesn’t mean it’s the way that you do entrepreneurship.
And I’ve, I’ve had so many like trials and error in my own business where I’m like, well, you know, everyone’s running Facebook ads to like a course. So I should run Facebook ads to a course, like, you know what, that’s not really aligned with the way I want to work. And so it hasn’t worked. And so I just, I love that.
You’re like, no, I’m like intentionally not going to position myself. Because I don’t want to, it doesn’t for me also, Stephanie, I just want to acknowledge it’s so cool that you’re sharing that even on this platform. Cause I’m sure a lot of people that listen in can connect with that, of like this person’s been successful.
I want to see the success that that person had doing X, Y, Z. So I’m going to do it like them, but it’s never. He’ll aligned. Cause you’re going to feel like you’re forcing it. And often we feel resistance because we’re trying to do it in a way we’re trying to fit like a square peg into a round hole. That type of thing, where like it’s always going to feel off and you’re going to create these stories naturally of like, oh, well I can’t do this.
And that could result in someone. Giving up before they got where they wanted to go. And it’s not even just about you getting where you want to go, but it’s all of the people that are going to be spot like inspired by your life, being a testimony of what’s possible for them. And all of the people that you are going to impact that if you give up now you’re throwing the towel and it might just be because you’re watching too many other people do it and you’re not going, you know, taking that danger that we’re pointing out like, oh, this person’s doing it this way, this way, this way, flip that finger back around and pointed out yourself.
We just thinking, what can I own in this? What do I actually want? And people don’t do that. It’s so freaking simple, but it’s so powerful. So I just want to acknowledge, like, I just think that’s a really important point that you even talk about your own struggles with that, because it’s so relatable, you know?
Yeah. And I think, if you try to go somebody else’s path and it doesn’t work for you because it’s not meant for you, then you are losing out on the impact that you can have on everybody else that would have crossed your path. I just love again how you flipped it back. When you’re talking about Dave Hollis, like, it’s not about you, it’s not about you.
It’s about your community, it’s about your people. And so I loved like that clearly seems very interwoven into. Your entire business and the way that, the way that you do things, I just think that’s like, that’s so powerful and that I’m sure is like, that’s why you have multiple billions of downloads of your podcast, because you’re thinking about your listeners the entire time.
I love that. So you had mentioned earlier, you were talking about live events. So tell us, like, tell us what you have going on with live event. I am so excited because in 2020, I wanted to start an events company because so many women, I mean, they need to be connected to each other because there’s so much power and being in the room with other women that when you tell them their ideas, they don’t tell you that you’re crazy, but they’re like, let’s freaking go.
How can we do this together? And I’ve wanted to do this since literally 2020. So we are hosting our first empower her alive. Community events. So it’s going to be a personal development event in Phoenix, Arizona, October 21st, 22nd and 23rd. And it’s going to be 500 plus women from all across the country. A lot of them are entrepreneurial spirited.
A lot of them have businesses or side businesses or their podcasts. They’re just really wanting to like level up and their life, their career, their relationships, their business. And we’re bringing in some powerhouse, keynote speakers. There’s going to be a lot of opportunities for connection and panels.
And I just really want to create a container for women to meet their people, because it really can feel like you’re doing it alone and it doesn’t have to feel that way. And I think there’s a lot of power and what I’m going to challenge, even all of the speakers and all of the panelists to do is like, I don’t want to hear your five tips to success.
You can Google tips out the wazoo. I want to hear that. How do you feel as a person when you want to throw in the towel? Like, how are you getting yourself to actually keep going? And what does it actually feel like to be an entrepreneur when you’re on your bathroom floor and you’re crying and your snot and your master are getting together in your mouth and you’re like choking on your spit.
And you’re like, ah, like, I want to know that cause it’s real. So it’s going to be a really high vibe. Women’s event. And I’m so excited because I’ve never, like I was telling you before. I’ve never, I’ve never done an event like this before. So it’s requiring me to stretch and grow in a totally different way, which is also something that I needed.
Cause if you’re, if you’re doing the same thing that you’ve been doing for a long time. Got it. You got to spice it up a little bit. So yeah, that’ll be, that’ll be in Phoenix and. Oh, that is awesome. And I can just imagine, like you have this virtual community that I’m sure is like worldwide your podcast listeners, and to bring 500 of them together in person is going to be like so powerful.
I’m so excited for you. That’s awesome. Well, yeah, I’m, I’m like checking my calendar right now. Anything October. Um, I would love to see you there 70, that be amazing. Well, that’s really exciting and I love that. You’re like, again, you’re, you’re practicing what you preach. It’s like, you know, you, you have to push yourself and you have to do things you’ve never done before.
And I know in like, basically since 2020, we’ve all kind of been doing like the same thing. Cause there’s not much else to do. So I love that. You’re like, all right, we’re doing something different now. Awesome. Well, oh my gosh, Keisha. I feel like I could talk to you all. I’m sure everybody says this to you.
I should feel like I could talk to you all day long. I wish I did have a Margaret in front of me right now. Um, but anyway, I want to close on one, like you’ve dropped so many pieces of fire knowledge and advice. What’s the fire easiest. One of all that’s, that’s what I want to ask you. So if you, yeah, if you could just share one thing with our listeners that you want them to take away from your experience and what you’ve done and help them achieve their goals.
That’s what I’m all about. Pushing through their comfort zone, into the highest version of them. Yeah. Would you say. Oh, you know, what just came to mind instantly is like, we’re told not to compare ourselves to other people, but something that I’ve actually struggled with, that’s really interesting is not necessarily that, but comparing myself to a prior version of myself when the circumstances were different and that eating away at my confidence.
So what I want to do. Reiterate, and really, hopefully this will hit home with someone that needs to hear. This is you might be struggling because your success criteria for this season of life actually doesn’t make sense for you and this exact season of your life. Maybe you just had a baby or you’re navigating a major grief season or you’re in a big transition season, or maybe you’re in like a, a joyful, really happy season.
Like my husband and I just got married a couple of weeks ago. For two weeks there. I was like, I don’t care about my business. I just want to like be happy and be alive. Um, whatever season of life that you’re in. If you’re comparing yourself to a prior version of yourself, when the circumstances were different and you could show up for your business in a different way.
And right now you’re just in a season where you can’t. That doesn’t mean that you’re not qualified, or that doesn’t mean that you’re not capable. That doesn’t mean that you don’t have what it takes. But if you choose to make it mean that way, or you choose to keep the success criteria where you’re beating yourself up… or you’re just downward spiraling because like, oh, I can’t get to all of this because you have a newborn baby.
Why are you giving yourself the expectations of whatever it is that’s going on in your life? So I just want to encourage people to touch in on, like, I want you to achieve all of your big. Obviously Stephanie, that’s what you’re here for. And putting yourself on this podcast is to help women understand their potential and go for it, but do it with the parameters that make sense and this exact season of your life right now, your season could be a week because you just have a lot going on.
Your kids are sick, your in-laws are in town, works insane. And you’re trying to build this side business, right? Whatever. Or maybe it’s a season where you’re like, I know that I’ve been playing small I’m toe dipping and I need to crank it up a notch. Well, let’s freaking cannibals. Call your shot publicly, get some skin in the game, figure out what can you do in the next 24 hours to give yourself a massive dopamine hit to keep going and identify what’s the season that I’m in.
Cause you’re the only one that’s going to know what’s going on and make sure that your success criteria matches that because you want to feel like you’re winning. You want to get those micro deposits in your confidence bucket because at the root of entrepreneurship, the most confident person. Is going to win and confidence doesn’t have to mean that you’re an outgoing extrovert, crazy psycho person like me.
It means that you just believe in your ability to figure things out that when life throws you a curve ball, you’re like, you know what? I’ve never navigated this before, but let me look to my past. Let me look at my track record. You know, like so many moms, especially that I can’t like. I’m sorry, you birthed a human out of your home.
You can build a business. That seems a way easier to me than birthing a human, but like, we don’t give ourselves enough credit. In all of that, give yourself grace, give yourself radical compassion and then just touch base and take inventory on this season of life that you’re in and be careful that you’re not your own worst critic right now.
You’re ridiculously capable and you’re gifted this vision because you’re also gifted the resourcefulness to figure it out. How along the way I don’t give a crap. If you don’t know how it’s 20, 22, you can Google anything. You just have to believe that you’re you’re worthy and you’re capable. And I think just being gifted, the vision means that you’re worthy and capable.
You just have to get out of your own damn way. Yes. I love that. And they may think of, um, I think you interviewed Amber Lillia strum on your podcast. And one of the things that she says all the time is if the dream is in you, it’s for you. Yeah. I love that quote so much. It’s like, if it’s something that you, like, you just said, if you have the vision for it, like it’s meant for you go for it.
If it’s not the right time. That’s okay. But like, If the dream is in you, it’s for you. I love that. Oh, so good. Oh my gosh. Okay. Well, where can our listeners find you? You mentioned your podcast name a couple of times, but tell us again, your, the name of your podcast and where we can find you and connect with you and your text and your Instagram and all the you’re so great.
Stephanie, thank you girl. So my favorite social media platform is Instagram is just at Keisha KCA dot Fitzgerald. And my podcast is called empower her. It’s a Monday, Thursday podcast. You check it out. DME. I respond to all idea. So like, I will definitely thank you for listening in and that’s, those are my two favorite things and my text list, you can always find through Instagram and yeah, I’m pretty active on Instagram stories.
Trying to just take you along on the ride and remind you that you’re capable of doing whatever the hell you set your mind to you. So thank you, Stephanie. I appreciate you girl. Thank you so much for being here.
Thanks for listening to the 100 degrees of entrepreneurship podcast. To access our show notes and bonus content, visit 100degreesconsulting.com/podcast. Make sure to snap a screenshot on your phone of this episode and tag me on Instagram @stephanie.skry and I’ll be sure to share thanks for being here friends and I’ll see you next time.
Transcript for Episode 66
